I’m NOT “that mom”!

You know…That mom who always has her hair, nails and make-up done.  Cooks a 5 star breakfast every morning.  Sparkling clean house, clutter free, of course.  Always patient, kind, ready to serve…..  Spontaneous.  Always ready to have sleepovers for her kids.  Keeps a full fridge ready to make pancakes when they want them because she never runs out of eggs because she always keeps up on the grocery shopping.  She also always has silverware in the drawer because she empties the dishwasher as soon as it is finished and has it loaded again right away which means her sink isn’t filled with dishes right now.  What a mom!!!!

I am going to get really honest here.  Mom life is hard for me.  I don’t do mom life very well.  I get irritated and overwhelmed very easily.  Am I striving for better…absolutely!!!!  Everyday!!!!  I even have good days but I feel like the bad days outnumber the good on my behavior.  I love my kids more than I can put into words but I definitely don’t show it like I should.  Here’s the thing….There are days I want to run away.  Yep…I said it!  THERE ARE DAYS I WANT TO RUN AWAY???  Yes, that is what I said!  (AND….I finally said it “out loud” to my husband).

I need to be able to say that out loud…to share my feelings.  These are real feelings.  Feelings aren’t bad.  Read the Psalms.  David expresses every emotion one can have and I so appreciate his honesty.  There is a big problem that I have faced in life regarding feelings.  People judge.  When we feel judged, we then don’t share.  When we don’t share, we keep it all inside.  Keeping it all inside, eventually…WE EXPLODE!!!!  Or let’s call it what it is…SIN!!!!  We need to be free to share even our ugliest thoughts, fears, feelings, emotions.  We need to bear one another’s burdens.  We need to listen and then wrap our arms around each and show love, encouragement, support, prayer and even correction (with love).  We need to walk beside each other in God’s truth and be strong for the one who is weak.  We need to find that “one” or two or ten who will be strong for us when we are weak.

So, I’m not the perfect mom.  I never will be!!!!  That’s okay.  I’m striving for something different. AND…..Although, I really want a clean house, I want kids who have been taught how to deal with life properly.  I want them to feel free to share their feelings, their fears, their confusion, their questions, their sin with us and let us help them through it.  I want to be the parent who listens.  I want to be the honest mom who shows her kids that this life is a battle.  I not only want to show them the way to live their life according to God’s word, I want to live it out.

So, yes…my kids see an overwhelmed mess a lot of the time but they also see repentance and honesty.

It is important that we talk.  If we don’t , we may actually run away.

BE HEALTHY!!!!

Let’s play catch up!!!!

What is up with all the sick around us?  Thankfully, we haven’t caught everything going around and have avoided a majority of it.  YET…It seems we have to take a turn.  My oldest had a cold and was on the mend and then took a quick turn and got Bronchitis.  She’s good now.  My youngest had a mild cold weeks ago and woke up with it again yesterday.  He is still bouncing off the walls with energy though.  My middle, who’s immune system used to be so weak, has avoided the sick for months but she is fighting something right now.  I am so thankful for our Plexus because it has really worked on repairing Abby’s gut and kept things pretty mild when we do get sick.  I can’t imagine where we would be if we weren’t taking care of our immune systems.

low-carb-keto-fruit-veggie

Health Journey:

I have been doing a ton of research on diets, again.  Paleo, Vegan, Vegetarian, Keto, Pegan, Mediterranean, Zone, ETC….. How the heck are we supposed to eat and is there a one size fits all?  I have always loved studying nutrition, health, fitness…anything that has to do with a better quality of life.  I have been gluten free for over 5 years.  I do little dairy and try to stick to greek yogurt and hard cheeses and, of course, Kerrygold butter.  The last three years I have been mostly Paleo but do have periods of time where I eat some grains or Rubio’s nachos. For the most part, I try to eat as healthy as I can.

I have been revisiting this topic as I was looking to see the hype of the Ketogenic diet.  For me personally, I have decided this is not best.  This led me to look at a more plant based diet and it’s benefits.  I have always avoided doing a strict vegetarian or vegan because grains have always affected me and let’s face it….A medium rare steak every once in awhile makes me happy:)  I have realized that these lifestyles have something healthy to offer.  Keto…High amount of healthy fats.  Paleo and Vegan and Vegetarian…Focus on clean eating.

I came to the conclusion that vegetables and fruit need to be a bigger part of my everyday and meats and grains are to be more like a condiment or accessory, if you will.  Because I have been working on healing my gut, I have been able to get off of the digestive enzymes for good and my system is handling different foods a little better.  I am on a journey…a journey to better health, a better quality of it.  I will be working on upping my fruit and vegetable intake.  I would like a majority of my nutrients to come from those foods.  It is amazing what plant-based foods have to offer.  I will try different healthy grains and see what my body can digest at this point.  Is this the way for everyone?…I don’t know.  We all need to find what works best for us.  I am not going to preach that this diet or that diet is “THE ONLY WAY”.  I will just encourage others to eat clean, eat raw, eat nutrients.

Spiritual Journey:

I’m still a sinner!!!!  Every Single Day…I blow it!!!!  I hate sin, I hate sinning!  I hate hurting those around me.  I hate hurting God.  Good news…He is the same yesterday, today, forever.  He is always there.  He showers me with His grace and mercy daily despite the sinner I am.  He loves me.  He gives hope.  He gives rest.  He gives strength.  He gives peace.  All of  this…I do not deserve!!!  But I get it anyway because our God is good and gracious and kind!!!

EAT HEALTHY!!!!

IMG_0611

I am not a “saleswoman” but if you are interested in what these natural supplements are that help with gut health and happiness, let me know!!!!

I’m BACK!!!! With a passion!!!!

passion defs

I have written many things the last couple months on paper, in my head and even here on my blog BUT didn’t share any of it.  Not sure where I was or what was going on.  I felt like I was in a funk.  Actually, I’m still kinda there.  I started to write a Facebook post and realized it was getting longer and longer and it was not really Facebook post material.  Soooooo…I said, “Enough is enough!!!!  You have a blog.  Stop being scared of it.  Get out of your funk and start writing because you like to do it and it’s a good release”.

So I copied it and brought it here:

We share about what matters to us, what we are passionate about. For some it’s leggings, for some it’s smelly house goods, for some it’s natural cleaning products, cake creations, essential oils, kid’s books…you see where I am going with this. For me, it’s gut health!!!! There will be haters. There will be skeptics. There will be teasers. There will be those who make you feel inadequate, stupid, and insecure. That’s okay. It has to be okay.  God gives us our own desires and talents and passions.  He didn’t make us to be little robots who can’t think for themselves.  He created us in His image.  He created each of us different.

There is not another me out there.  I love all things natural and I love learning about the ways we can heal from the inside out.  I love everything I am learning about gut health and how it controls so much of how we function and feel.  I love how I am taking steps to better gut health.  I love that those steps are working to help me feel better.  I love that I can have better quality of life in the days I’m given.  AND…..I love sharing all of this with others.

Now I mentioned above that some won’t care to listen and I can’t be offended or take it personal.  I will still keep sharing my life, my likes, my dislikes, my passions….with others.  Tonight, I heard from a friend who decided to try the supplements I have been sharing about and it was so encouraging.  It reminded me why I share.  It encouraged me to keep sharing.  She has had a rough go of health issues and is starting to notice changes.  She is starting to feel better.  (“smiling from ear to ear”) It’s all worth it!!!  I want others to feel better.  It makes me emotional.  I am actually tearing up right now…GEEZ!!!!!

Okay, enough emotion!!!!  What is your passion?  Are you sharing it with other?

Peace out!!!

IMG_9588

I am not a saleswoman but if you are interested in what these natural supplements are that help with gut health and happiness, let me know!!!!

It’s so late….

Last Sunday, I shared about my very bad day that ended with me sick and remembering Who is in control. I never had a chance to sit and write this week. I really missed it. I was really sick. This thing hit me HARD!!! Still not feeling 100%. But I had to “mom” and get back into life and (try to) play catch-up.

This weekend was very busy with Christmas parties and dance recitals and dirty bathrooms and laundry, lots of laundry!!! I had planned on sitting down and writing when we got home tonight. BUT my little guy who loves to be in front of a screen whenever he can wanted to change family movie night to game night. I had to jump on that. What I really wanted to do was veg out on the couch and write while we all watched a movie.

We opened a new game Levi and I bought during Black Friday. We all had a good time. Weeelllll, I’m not sure how much fun Eric had as he is colorblind and this game requires you to stack colored cups to match the card. After several games, Eric and Abby ended up on the couch. I went to fold some laundry and Levi practiced the game so he could beat us next time. Then he asked me…. “Mom, can you play with me?”

I love this kid more than anything but I wanted to do “my thing”. I had to make a decision. I decided to sit down and play with him. How could I not? My kid wanted to play with me. Spending time with our kids is so important. I’m too busy and I lay in bed at night convicted that I chose dishes over quality time. I complain all the time how we are such a technology absorbed family and how I wish we would just sit down together and do more things to build relationships. So yes, Levi, I will play with you😁

I’m so glad God isn’t too busy. He is ruler of all and yet has time for me. He longs for me to “put down the dishes” and spend time with Him. The Creator of the Universe wants to spend time with me? Think upon that. He knows us… every single detail. He formed us, knitted us together. He knows our every thought. He thinks about us. He knows how many hairs are on our head and that number changes everyday. I’m so thankful He is patient with me as I have to be reminded too often to STOP!!!! To Be still. To know that He is God. To remember that He likes me😊

Anxiety…My Story

My original title was Anxiety, Depression and Stress. I have found that people don’t just struggle with one and not the others. We all are very aware of these three evils that creep their way into our lives.  In fact, it is different for us all.  They affect each of us in different ways, to different degrees.  They make it hard to function.  To do life.  To enjoy our kids.  To sleep.  To worship the Lord.  To (fill in the blank)…..  I’m sure you can fill in that blank with how they have affected you!  For me personally, I was at a wall.  I felt like I had no control.  What was wrong with me? Why could I not get a handle on these life destroyers?

As I started writing, I realized this was going to probably take many blog posts so I changed the title and will focus on one at a time.

ANXIETY

I really started to notice the anxiety after my first daughter was born. I became very fearful. I spent countless nights sitting on the couch over her bassinet just crying and scared that she would die. I didn’t want to sleep because I wanted to lay my hand on her chest and feel her heartbeat continually. Eric came in one night and I shared with him what was going on and he prayed with me and tried to encourage me, telling me to trust God. It was hard for me to accept that I wasn’t trusting God. I thought I did trust God. In fact, I was scared because He was the all powerful God and He had complete control of everything. I knew that if He wanted to take her, He could. This fear continued into my second daughter but increased with the fear of myself dying and who would be their mother.  I really felt like there were times I had no control over it.

The fear and worry was always there but there were times that it was worse than others. I dealt with it the best that I could. I wrote letters to my kids and husband telling them how much I loved them. Music was helpful …Worship, Susan Ashton, Margaret Becker, Caedmon’s Call.  These brought me such comfort.  I knew all the anxiety verses and prayed for the Lord to take it from me.

After my son was born, I started having health issues. This made things even worse. My letters became more detailed to each of my kids telling them how much I loved them, sharing the gospel with them and encouraging them in their life. I was scared. I was convinced every sharp pain was a heart attack.  I felt trapped in fear.  I was missing my life.  There were times it would take over and I could barely breathe.  I even had a panic attack and ended up in the ER.  I was so consumed by all of it and that’s when I started acknowledging it as sin.  Problem was…I didn’t know what to do about it as sin. I was literally in a battle!!!!  AND I already felt defeated. Phil. 4:6 told me to be anxious for nothing BUT in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, make my requests known to God. Okay… So that’s what I did!!!!

The Psalms became a big part of my life.  I began journaling. They were my prayers. I was very honest. I felt like my journal was my Psalms.  David’s Psalms is my favorite book.  It is real and relatable. I love that he is so honest about his fears, his worries, his doubts, questioning where the Lord is, etc.  The thing that helped me most was that after he was done pouring out his heart, he praised the Lord. He acknowledge who God was and gave Him the glory.  I made a point to do this at the end of every journal entry.  This helped put my focus where it needed to be. This was the thanksgiving from Phil 4:6.

I also came across two books that were very helpful to me…Overcoming Fear, Worry, and Anxiety by Elyse Fitzpatrick and Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow. Overcoming Fear, Worry, and Anxiety became my second Bible.  Elyse Fitzpatrick drew me in with the way she wrote. I felt like she wrote the book for me. She made lists of verses and who God is to us.  When I started struggling…I grabbed my Bible, that book, and my journal.  I would just open the pages of the book I had tabbed and copy them in my journal.  After writing these truths down so many times, they became a part of my every thought.  They were being etched in my heart.

Psalm 119:11, “Your word I have treasured in my heart, that I may not sin against You” became real to me.  All of what I have written is part of my journey.  I see that now.  God knows the whole story of our lives. He is the Potter, I am the clay. God allows things in our lives to bring us closer to Him, to know Him and enjoy Him.  I am still on this journey.  He is continuing to mold me. I still struggle with anxiety but all the years of memorizing and writing God’s truths prepared me to value it, treasure it…To hide it in my heart.  

Psalm 119: 9-16

How can a young man keep his way pure?
By keeping it according to Your word.
10 With all my heart I have sought You;
Do not let me wander from Your commandments.
11 Your word I have treasured in my heart,
That I may not sin against You.
12 Blessed are You, O Lord;
Teach me Your statutes.
13 With my lips I have told of
All the ordinances of Your mouth.
14 I have rejoiced in the way of Your testimonies,
As much as in all riches.
15 I will meditate on Your precepts
And regard Your ways.
16 I shall delight in Your statutes;
I shall not forget Your word.

My blog took a different turn than what I had planned to write.  Maybe one day, I’ll share more in the anxiety and I’ll get to depression and stress!!!!

I’m selfish!!! It’s not my life!!!

I know by nature, we are all selfish! I have just noticed over the years that I have become more selfish. I find myself often questioning God and the things He allows in my day, in my life. Who do I think that I am? I must think pretty highly of myself that I would even begin to think I have any sort of control over what my day holds. What brings this whole blog about you ask? Well, I will tell you😉

IMG_0649

Levi woke up sick yesterday and I was mad! I was mad that my little man felt so badly. I was mad because it’s the holidays and we have so many things planned and the last thing I want to do is deal with sickness. I was mad because that meant that he had to miss out on Grama day which he has been looking forward to for a couple weeks. I was mad because that meant he has to miss his music lesson and possibly his one day a week of school that we look so forward to. I was mad that his day at school was the Christmas party and they are putting together a big project we’ve been working on making the human body. I was mad that the day I had planned to watch cheesy Hallmark Christmas movies and decorate the house while the kids were with Grama was now ruined.

I’M PRETTY PATHETIC!!!! How disappointing that so much complaining can go on in just a minute inside my head. Now… I had a choice to make. I had all these selfish thoughts plaguing me and I could talk to the Lord about it and ask Him to give me the strength to get through or I could dwell on it and just be mad through the remainder of my day because I wasn’t getting my way. Let’s be honest, that’s what was going on, right? I wasn’t getting my way! SELFISH!!!!

And did you catch the part in the beginning where I refer to this life as being….My life??? Pretty sure it doesn’t belong to me. I gave my life to God! I decided to follow Him. He makes it very clear in Mark 8:34 that following Him means to deny myself, pick up my cross (and follow Him).  I am to live this life that He so graciously gave me and do all things to His glory, not for man’s glory or approval, not for my own comfort, not for loving a life more than I love Jesus.  I am not in charge anymore!!!  I love what John Piper says about this verse, “You are a new self. Act like it. Deny the old, comfort-craving self and embrace the superior joy of knowing Jesus, no matter how high the cost on this earth”.

Am I disappointed with things in my life sometimes…YEP!!!  My sinful brain needs to accept the fact that God, the Master of the Universe, allowed it.  That should be all I need to know.  GOD has His reasons and if I would just take a second to STOP AND BE STILL, meditate on Him, rest in Him…I would learn something.  He doesn’t just allow things because He has nothing better to do, He wants us to grow. He wants us to put our eyes on Him.  He wants us to draw strength from Him.

I have always lived with the saying, “Nothing happens that God didn’t filter through His hands first”.  This has always brought me freedom and relief.  I rested in this truth.  Somewhere along the way, I became mad that He would allow certain things to be filtered into my life.  Wow!!! Did I actually just write that???  That makes me so sad and disappointed that I would, that I could, even go there.  I am ashamed and want to hang my head but God doesn’t want that.  He wants me to act like the new man I am and embrace Him.  That’s how great He is!!!!  I deserve death and He gives me life!!!!

IMG_0650

Ibuprofen kicked in and he is able to smile.  Yes, I do give into Ibuprofen when they are so miserable and achy.  But he is also taking extra Probiotics and Xfactor.  YAY, Plexus!!!

At least there are a lot more cuddles and snuggling when he’s sick!!!  Won’t pass that up:)

The Lord is my Shepherd…The First Advent Sunday

p050fjc4

I decided I would write something about who God is to me on each Sunday leading to Christmas.  I am starting with one of my favorite passages.  This brings such comfort in all seasons of our walk.

Psalm 23

  1. The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want.
  2. He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters.
  3. He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake.
  4. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
  5. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You have anointed my head with oil; My cup overflows.
  6. Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life, And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

I love Psalm 23. It’s words have brought me comfort since I was a little girl.  Over the course of my life, different verses from it have stuck out depending on what I was going through. This Psalm brings peace and hope.  It is a reminder of who our God truly is.

When David wrote this psalm, he knew exactly what it meant to be a shepherd to the sheep in his care.  After all, this was his lowly beginning before he became king.  He knew the importance of the shepherd being everything to them, protecting them from all harm, guiding them down all paths.  This Psalm is very personal.  David could have said ‘THE Shepherd” but instead he said “MY Shepherd”.  Then he wrote how his God cares for him.  He fully understood that without a Shepherd, sheep would wander aimlessly.  They needed someone to guide them.

I believe before this Psalm can mean anything to us, we must see ourselves as “sheep”.  Sheep are completely dependent on their shepherd.  I have read that sheep have a hard time relaxing and lying down unless their conditions are perfect.  Here David shows us that the Shepherd takes his sheep to green pastures and quiet waters.  He leads them back when they wander off, comforts them and guides them.  He protects them from the enemy.  He makes sure they have food when they are hungry and water when they are thirsty.  He is with them from beginning to end meeting their every need.

shepherdcarrysheep4

How fascinating that the God who created the heavens and earth chose to be our Shepherd.  Meditate on that!!!  Find comfort and security in that.  See yourself as a sheep in need of the Great Shepherd!!!!!

The Lord is MY Shepherd!!!! He is MY leader. He is MY protector. He is My guide.  MY rest.  MY comfort.  MY Savior.  MY everything.

PLUS….It’s pretty cool to think that when Jesus was born, the angels came to the shepherds and their flock.  The sheep may have been one of the first to see baby Jesus….just saying!!!!!

Advent, Passion and God…My brain!

IMG_9122

I was laying in bed last night thinking about three things.  1- Making sure my passion for God is more than my passion for health.  2- Who is God to me? and 3- What does advent mean?  I know.  All random!!!!!  SOOOOOO……  Let me show you how my brain works:  I was thinking about some things a friend shared with me about my sudden Plexus passion and my new blog which mainly talks of my health journey.  This led me to think of where my relationship with God is and who He is to me.  Is He more to me than “healing my gut”?  I named my blog Journey to ALL Health for a reason….ALL meaning spiritual, physical, mental, and emotional.  I want to be healthy in all these areas so I can better serve Him and those around me.  So as I started making a list of things GOD IS, I thought about doing a little blog post every night leading up to Christmas to help keep my focus on Him.  So that obviously led me to think of Advent…LOL!!!!

1- Passion….What does passion mean?  There are several definitions but the one that fits what I’m talking about is: a strong liking or desire for or devotion to some activity, object, or concept.  Do I have this passion more for health than God?  Would others say I’m obsessed with health?  I love God with every fiber in my body.  He gives us desires.  He wants us to enjoy Him, enjoy life and enjoy others.  I have always loved learning things about the body and how to treat it and heal it naturally.  I do have a passion for it and I don’t think there is anything wrong with that.  I just need to make sure that it never becomes an idol, that it never trumps God.  I decided to ask my kids what came to mind when they thought of me, what kinds of things would they remember about me.  I was thankful when I heard that I loved God and taught them about Him.  None of them said anything about health.  Some other things they said were I love turtles, cuddles, baking with them, best PB&J sandwiches, and that I love chocolate, of course:)

IMG_4382Sea turtle that I really wanted at our fair this year.  Levi won it!!!!

2- Who is God?….I have to admit, I pondered this for awhile.  God is so many things but I really wanted to take a personal look at who He is to me.  These were things that if I did my own “advent” blog each day, what are the things I would talk about?  I read several Christian blogs and I learn so much of who God is by all these deep and wise things they are able to pull from His Word. I became sad as I realized that my knowledge of God and who He is was lacking.  I wondered if I would be able to write even a paragraph.  God and who He is overwhelms me!!!!  He is so magnificent and awesome and BIG and I just can’t comprehend it all sometimes.  Why would He choose to love me?  Why does He continue to lavish His grace on me…a wretched, ungrateful, complaining sinner!!!  Do I even really understand what this grace is?  I did end up grabbing my phone and putting some thoughts down and I plan on sharing them with you through the next couple weeks.  My last thought…..

3- Advent…….We started our chocolate advent calendars yesterday and I am receiving John Piper’s advent devotional each day before Christmas.  But, I really didn’t know the meaning or history behind it.  I googled it and it basically means “coming” in Latin.  It starts four Sundays before Christmas which makes this year start on December 3.  In simple terms…..It’s a time when we, as Christians, focus and commemorate the “coming” of Christ….His birth, and anticipate His second “coming”.  Each day we can reflect upon Christ and His birth to help keep our focus on Him first through the busy holiday season.  Of course, there was so much more that I read and I encourage you to google it.  It was interesting!

IMG_0598.JPG

So there you have it!!!!  My random thoughts that all make sense to me.

Criticism

IMG_0318

So much can be said about this topic.  These particular sentences hit me though.  For me, it reminds me Who is above all in my life.  Criticism is not a bad thing.  It is a hard thing though….to receive and to give.  When I receive criticism that is hurtful and cuts me, I take it to the Lord and ask him to show me the truth from it.  Of course, that is after I cry for awhile.  Just because someone says it doesn’t mean it is true.  The Lord is faithful and will expose the truth from those words, even if the truth is hard to hear.  We need to be humble and ready to listen and receive it.

These sentences meant a lot to me because I was trying to decide if I wanted to share this blog.  I have had people in my life that have mocked my passion for health.  I had my own thoughts attacking me as well.  All I could hear was the voices in my head telling me how stupid I was, how no-one really cares about the things I had to say, how no likes and followers means my blog sucks, and so on….  It’s so easy for me to negatively get stuck in my head.  I asked a couple godly friends from a Health FB page we all belong to if they could read and be honest.  They were more than encouraging and supportive.  I also shared it with a couple other important people.  This was helpful to hear what everyone had to say.

They pointed me to God.  One said, “Misty, God made you exactly who He needs you to be for those He has placed in your path”.  She reminded me that some might criticize but there will be others who will be thankful for my story and the hope it gives.  Both have it’s place….One helps us grow and the other encourages us to keep going.  AND thank you John Piper for reminding me that God has the final word in Christ….His Word stands above it all!!!!!

Galatians 1:10- For am I now seeking the favor of God?  Or am I striving to please men?  If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ.

The beginning

I am writing here instead of my journal.  I am not an English major and am not going to worry about paragraphs and punctuation.  I simply am going to write because it is helpful to me and maybe there will be one other that will benefit as well.

I have been on a “health” journey trying to figure out where all my aches and pains come from.  I am tired all the time and just feel yucky.  I struggle with anxiety and depression (finding out most woman do) that keeps me up all night sometimes.  I want to say “GREAT” when asked how I am doing.

I am about to start another Whole30 and have to make this my lifestyle.  I do best when I am not eating grains, dairy, legumes, and the EVIL addictive …..SUGAR!!!!!!  I love sugar in the form of anything brown which means CHOCOLATE.

I want to LOVE God with all my heart and serve Him with my everything.

I am going to abruptly end this for now because, as usual, time has gotten way from me and I have a child who needs to be to his class in 10 minutes…..oops!!!!!

To be continued…..